Why is it so many moms feel they have to put up a facade when it comes to being a mom?
What do I mean!?
Why can’t moms be truthful about their motherhood experiences?
It starts with pregnancy, we get pregnant, and we automatically have this facade of “Everything is going great in my pregnancy, I’m not in any pain, I love everything about this human being taking my body’s EVERYTHING and using it for itself!”
Why? Why the coverup??
Are they afraid they will come off feeling ungrateful to be carrying a baby? Or perhaps they just want to make it seem like pregnancy really is the most beautiful time of one’s life.
This reminds me of the movie, ” What to Expect When You’re Expecting” (*GREAT MOVIE BTW!*) Elizabeth Banks’ character, Wendy Cooper became pregnant after a couple of years of trying, and from the jump she was all- everything is fine because as she would say, “Im protecting my miracle!” Well as her pregnancy progressed she experienced every single pregnancy symptom, and then finally broke down and said, “pregnancy sucks!” It’s such a pivotal point in the movie because she finally was able to come clean about how we as women get the pretty versions of pregnancy from our apps, and books, and other facade moms, and then when we experience it we think we are horrible future moms because, it sucks.
Don’t get me wrong. Pregnancy is beautiful.
The thought of carrying a life under your heart and having an extra body inside your fully functioning body is so special to think about, and I am blessed to have been able to witness it.
But after 6 pregnancies, 3 miscarriages, 1- 39 wk delivery, 1- 30 wk delivery, and 1- 37 wk baby….I think I’m entitled to say, pregnancy, while beautiful. SUCKED.
I got every symptom (minus morning sickness – I’ll explain) known to man….I had acne, back-ne,chest-ne,gas, heartburn, indigestion, insomnia, cravings, aversions, nausea (I have no gag reflex- it’s virtually impossible for me to throw up) diarrhea, incontinence, discharge, constipation, sweat spells, hot flashes, leaky boobs, swollen boobs, swollen nose, swollen ankles, blood clots, progesterone shots, back labor, round ligament, horrible crotch pains, more acne, hairyness, hiccups, more insomnia,back pain, leg pain, gosh the list is endless. You name it. I got it.
And ya know what, I wasn’t afraid to share my pain when people asked me. I even tell friends who are pregnant… (YESSSS I know all pregnancies are different, but in the end it’s ALL THE SAME!) I am just honest.. I tell it like it is. And no I dont feel like I’m being ungrateful. I am VERY thankful…but I’m very truthful too.
I think that these days women are so afraid of being judged (usually by the non-moms) that they fall into facade mode. I feel bad, because I can always tell…they usually talk about a con, but will quickly add…but it’s fine..I know it comes with the territory…I’ve watched several YouTube new mommies, and during their pregnancy journey, there are some who are so boring because they are so darn positive, and I’m like…pffft…I know this point of pregnancy sucks. Be real!!!!
I guess I just want to start a movement of women who aren’t afraid to be honest about the joys and the hard times of pregnancy.
It’s almost like, it’s not real until they feel that first VERY painful contraction…then their eyes are opened…lol!
This trickles into motherhood…it’s like if you complain that your baby cries all the time, they won’t eat right, they keep spitting up, they don’t want to go to sleep at night, or in the daytime, you can’t figure out what’s wrong with it…you are a bad mom.
NOT TRUE AT ALL!!!
I’d much rather hear about all the woes of early motherhood than have women keep their true feelings bottled up and then that leads to pain.
If you are a new, old, expecting mom then hear me out…IT’S FINE TO BE REAL, it’s fine to be in pain, it’s fine to say, ya know…this whole growing a human being sucks. It’s fine to say, I want to scream, it’s okay to scream, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to complain, it’s OKAY to talk about the bad stuff!
Sure we LOVE baby bumps and bumpdates, and birth pics and pregnancy announcements, but we should love to support through the hard times of it all.
Not everyone will carry the same, give birth the same, or have the same type of newborn…but we can be there to support during the good the bad and the ugly. Especially the ugly!
Take those pics even if you think ur bump is lopsided, wear those maternity clothes even if you think you aren’t big enough yet- do it! For yourself! Express yourself! !!
With my last baby, I was in SOOO much pain in was ridiculous. But I still managed to look cute, all the while telling people I was in pain and I was over pregnancy. Lol!
Say it out, say it loud- “I’m pregnant, I’m in pain and I’m proud!!” Or “my kid cries, it gets on my nerves, I just want sleep!”
Just say it!