Disconnect.

Scroll.

scroll.

scroll.

Like. 

Repeat. 

Scroll.

Scroll. 

Double tap. 

Repeat. 

Repeat.

Repeat.

ENOUGH! 

That is exactly how I felt last week when I was kinda feeling down, okay…I was feeling wayyy down and I realized that I spend a good majority of my time doing the above mentioned actions. 

Where do I do those things??

 On my phone…on social media. 

Particularly Facebook and Instagram. 

Finally, I said enough and I went and logged off every social media account that I am on and started my disconnect fast. 

I have been a SAHM now for 5 months and it is a roller coaster of an experience. Some days I’m soo happy I don’t have to join the morning rush hour group, and adult with adults, but then on the other hand… I miss it like crazy. 

(Crazy right?)

Well the next day I must confess it was the hardest thing ever. I woke up with THEE BIGGEST headache I’ve ever had so much so I couldn’t even open my eyes. I was nauseous and I was tired….I was going through withdrawal. I usually put myself to sleep with a good scroll, and I wake up to a nice morning scroll. 

(My thumbs are the most fit part of my body) 

It was sooooo hard, not gonna lie…I was thinking…omg what am I missing? Who is doing this? Who is doing that? Who just announced their pregnant? Who just had their baby? Who…what…when…where…why…..!!!!????? 

I kept finding myself opening my browser to check my fb (because I don’t have the app…because that’s too much of a distraction) and I kept looking for my apps to click open… (I hid them from my main page on my phone). I was literally trying to find something for my hands to scroll and read…. 

》》》》Fassssttttt FORWAAAARDDD》》》》

It has been ONE WHOLE WEEK! yep! One whole week and I have not been on my social media accounts…sure I feel like the world has happened and I missed it but I am doing alot better. I have this blog to devote some time to, and I have those 3 girls and husband, I can do more stuff with and for. 

**disclaimer: alot of my scrolling is heavily during naptime and bedtime**

I wonder if anyone knows I’m gone…or that I haven’t posted in a week? 

A week ago, I would’ve cared…today…I’m like “who cares!!” Being offline for a week has shown me a few things…

1. I was a devoted following friend
2. I used social media as my way to communicate with other adults. 
3. I was hiding behind posts here and there. 
4. Competition was real.
5. People post about the same stuff in different ways and the redundancy is tiring. 
6. See number 4.
7. I realized that I am a serial – “like-r”
8. I have a method to who’s posts, pictures, and links I like or save. 
9. I used up alot of time doing nothing. 
10. See number 9. 
11. Half the people I followed…or liked something of theirs…or whatever….NEVER RETURNED THE LOVE. #rude. 

How frustrating. 

How tiring.

How annoying. 

I think this says a lot about today’s world….we spend countless hours trying to look and appear perfect and right and political…and yet…deep down…we are a bunch of phoneys. I don’t care what anyone says….fb personas are REAL! 

I mean I always try to keep it 100% on my posts,  but you can’t be too truthful because then you might offend someone…and then if you don’t give a darn about something people will judge you for that too…….

Why is it we seek validation from such empty things like likes, or views, or shares? 

A week ago, I also started my blog…I had been meaning to do it for SOOO LONG! I had several people tell me to do it, and it wasn’t until I disconnected from it all…I was able to reconnect with my inner voice, my real voice and was able to write. 

I don’t know if anyone will read these all the way through or even take something from the blogs…but I am using my voice and I am not letting anything deter me. 

A scripture that is my absolute favorite is, “I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13 

During this time of disconnect I have also been using it as a time to really listen and hear God’s voice. I have been struggling with complacency and clarity ever since I stopped working and it has been really hard to figure out what to do, and how to do it. 

I was seeking validation in the wrong things. I had to stop, and remember that everything I do, I am…comes from Christ. 

I do not have to think for one second that because I am at home now I am useless, or that I just can’t do anything. I have the power and the strength to get up and make something of my day and make something of my goals, and dreams. 

How often do you stop and do a check in? How often do you stop and realize…crap…I’m wasting precious time doing nothing. 

If you haven’t done it in a while I suggest you stop and do it. Then write down how it made you feel. Then find alternative ways to channel that energy and effort into something that can create a ripple effect of change. 

Disconnect to reconnect. 

Blessings.♡