That is exactly how I felt last week when I was kinda feeling down, okay…I was feeling wayyy down and I realized that I spend a good majority of my time doing the above mentioned actions.
Where do I do those things??
On my phone…on social media.
Particularly Facebook and Instagram.
Finally, I said enough and I went and logged off every social media account that I am on and started my disconnect fast.
I have been a SAHM now for 5 months and it is a roller coaster of an experience. Some days I’m soo happy I don’t have to join the morning rush hour group, and adult with adults, but then on the other hand… I miss it like crazy.
Well the next day I must confess it was the hardest thing ever. I woke up with THEE BIGGEST headache I’ve ever had so much so I couldn’t even open my eyes. I was nauseous and I was tired….I was going through withdrawal. I usually put myself to sleep with a good scroll, and I wake up to a nice morning scroll.
(My thumbs are the most fit part of my body)
It was sooooo hard, not gonna lie…I was thinking…omg what am I missing? Who is doing this? Who is doing that? Who just announced their pregnant? Who just had their baby? Who…what…when…where…why…..!!!!?????
I kept finding myself opening my browser to check my fb (because I don’t have the app…because that’s too much of a distraction) and I kept looking for my apps to click open… (I hid them from my main page on my phone). I was literally trying to find something for my hands to scroll and read….
It has been ONE WHOLE WEEK! yep! One whole week and I have not been on my social media accounts…sure I feel like the world has happened and I missed it but I am doing alot better. I have this blog to devote some time to, and I have those 3 girls and husband, I can do more stuff with and for.
**disclaimer: alot of my scrolling is heavily during naptime and bedtime**
I wonder if anyone knows I’m gone…or that I haven’t posted in a week?
A week ago, I would’ve cared…today…I’m like “who cares!!” Being offline for a week has shown me a few things…
- I was a devoted following friend
- I used social media as my way to communicate with other adults.
- I was hiding behind posts here and there.
- Competition was real.
- People post about the same stuff in different ways and the redundancy is tiring.
- See number 4.
- I realized that I am a serial – “like-r”
- I have a method to who’s posts, pictures, and links I like or save.
- I used up alot of time doing nothing.
- See number 9.
- Half the people I followed…or liked something of theirs…or whatever….NEVER RETURNED THE LOVE. #rude.
I think this says a lot about today’s world….we spend countless hours trying to look and appear perfect and right and political…and yet…deep down…we are a bunch of phoneys. I don’t care what anyone says….fb personas are REAL!
I mean I always try to keep it 100% on my posts, but you can’t be too truthful because then you might offend someone…and then if you don’t give a darn about something people will judge you for that too…….
Why is it we seek validation from such empty things like likes, or views, or shares?
A week ago, I also started my blog…I had been meaning to do it for SOOO LONG! I had several people tell me to do it, and it wasn’t until I disconnected from it all…I was able to reconnect with my inner voice, my real voice and was able to write.
I don’t know if anyone will read these all the way through or even take something from the blogs…but I am using my voice and I am not letting anything deter me.
A scripture that is my absolute favorite is, “I can do all things, through Christ who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13
During this time of disconnect I have also been using it as a time to really listen and hear God’s voice. I have been struggling with complacency and clarity ever since I stopped working and it has been really hard to figure out what to do, and how to do it.
I was seeking validation in the wrong things. I had to stop, and remember that everything I do, I am…comes from Christ.
I do not have to think for one second that because I am at home now I am useless, or that I just can’t do anything. I have the power and the strength to get up and make something of my day and make something of my goals, and dreams.
How often do you stop and do a check in? How often do you stop and realize…crap…I’m wasting precious time doing nothing.
If you haven’t done it in a while I suggest you stop and do it. Then write down how it made you feel. Then find alternative ways to channel that energy and effort into something that can create a ripple effect of change.
Disconnect to reconnect.